It's a date.

Friday. Around 11am. Hermosa Beach. I'll be the one with the big black backpack and my party shoes on. See you there!

Happy Fourth Anniversary!!

love, love, love.

Working on Week 26....

That's all I really have to say about that.

God is good.

Stroller!

I am so honed in on strollers. My dad, who is in the wholesale childrenswear business and therefore has cool access to wholesale goods, was really wanting to buy me this crazy super-fancy Maclaren stroller. Sweet, sweet man. First grandchild. Anyway, I've decided on a much lighter-weight version by Maclaren--the Triumph. In navy blue, because I am traditional like that. Dad is ordering it this week through a dealer friend. Thanks, sweet Dad!!!!!!

Sabbath Rest.

We are into old hymns around here. Sometimes, the beautiful old verses are a bit lost on us, because the original melodies can sound ponderous or dated. ( EDITED TO ADD: I should emphasize SOME of the melodies can sound ponderous or dated....we treasure many old hymns with their original melodies!!) So we love it that groups like Indelible Grace and Red Mountain Church are reworking old melodies so that we might experience the richness and beauty of these very old lyrics.



(We stand on the shoulders of giants, I think.)



Here are a couple of hymns that are a comfort to me, now and always:

These are the easiest-to-hear versions I could find online, sung by Sandra McCracken and Derek Webb. (It's a live concert, so forgive the chattiness before the songs begin):

O Love that Will Not Let Me Go:

O Love that wilt not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

O Light that followest all my way,
I yield my flickering torch to thee;
My heart restores its borrowed ray,
That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day
May brighter, fairer be.

O Joy that seekest me through pain,
I cannot close my heart to thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain,
That morn shall tearless be.

O Cross that liftest up my head,
I dare not ask to fly from thee;
I lay in dust life’s glory dead,
And from the ground there blossoms red
Life that shall endless be.



-George Matheson, 1882




Thy Mercy:

Thy mercy my God is the theme of my song,
The joy of my heart, and the boast of my tongue.
Thy free grace alone, from the first to the last,
Hath won my affection and bound my soul fast.

Without Thy sweet mercy, I could not live here.
Sin would reduce me to utter despair,
But through Thy free goodness, my spirit's revived
And He that first made me still keeps me alive.

Thy mercy is more than a match for my heart,
Which wonders to feel its own hardness depart.
Dissolved by Thy goodness, I fall to the ground
And weep for the praise of the mercy I've found.

Great Father of mercies, Thy goodness I own
In the covenant love of Thy crucified Son.
All praise to the Spirit, Whose whisper divine
Seals mercy and pardon and righteousness mine.
All praise to the Spirit, Whose whisper divine
Seals mercy and pardon and righteousness mine.

-John Stocker, 1776

Connected.

A few days ago, Coffee Mom wrote a lovely post that mentions me and one of our favorite hymns. Thank you!

Weekend.

I worked tonight and will work most of tomorrow. Busy!

No news. I finally (and a bit shamefacedly) emailed our caseworker and asked if she could reassure us in some way. She basically said that nothing is wrong: our referral is simply taking a long time......Not terribly helpful, but I do realize she can't give us anything definite. I felt better just hearing that "nothing is wrong."

Early Morning Rambles.

This is what happens when you tutor for hours in a building with a broken AC (because your boss won't let you go home. Seriously.) In 98 degree Texas heat, no less. You come home, crash at 7pm, and then wake up at 3:3oam with an itchy heat rash. Michael just woke up, came into the living room to check on me, and found me here, maniacally blogging. It's kind of funny. :)

So, no word. I think I will stop with the daily updates. I feel like our blog is becoming a soap opera: "tune in tomorrow for the next episode of Jana and Michael try to build a family!!" But I promise, if we get a referral.....

Your comments have been extremely encouraging to me. Thank you.

hi.

Thanks for checking in, everyone. My daily hits have doubled in the last few days. ;)

Honestly, today was the lowest day I've had in our entire adoption process. Tonight I have rebounded, and I'm trying to keep perspective on it all. I think mentally adjusting to "We'll probably get our referral in May," to "We're not going to travel til late 2008 or early 2009," to "Gosh, actually we'll surely get our referral this week, maybe get rushed through court, and maybe travel within weeks--in August!" to "Oh, maybe not. Maybe there's even something wrong?" has been draining for me. Not to be overly dramatic, but my soul felt weary today. I'm thankful for my friends who remind me that while we're waiting on God, He is doing good things in us. He is making us more like Him. He never wastes anything.

Anyway, all that to say, tonight I am peaceful and hopeful and thankful for all of you.

We've got nothin'....

....so tonight I ate sushi, dark chocolate, and drank wine. I felt better.

It seems reasonable to assume that our referral wasn't ready and waiting with the others..........Michael and I are hoping NOT to be the "(Gladney) couple-who-set-the-record-for-the-longest-wait-yet-for-an-infant-girl." I mean, we'll take one for the team and everything, but we'd rather not. I'm just saying.


In other news, hop on over to Chris and Shasta's: they passed court today!!! Along with 10 other families--this is fantastic news as all of them have been stuck. Go see sweet, beautiful Dagim!

Not Yet.

There's no word today on the adoption front. Thanks to everyone who has been praying over the weekend. We continue to covet your prayers.

And now...if you experienced childhood at all during the '80's, chances are that you probably have heard of this and this. Well, it came to my attention yesterday that there is a documentary being produced right now (due in theaters this fall) that is about them. Here's the trailer...





I think if Flannery O'Connor were writing today, a Chris Thrash-like character might make it into one of her stories.

Michael

Sabbath Thoughts.

Here is our "marriage anthem."
I've been thinking about it today.

This hymn is sung to the tune of "Jupiter"
by Gustav Holst.


I walked
down the aisle
to its melody,
which was played
on the organ
by Colin.

And then
we sang
these words:



O God beyond all praising,
we worship you today
and sing the love amazing
that songs cannot repay;
for we can only wonder
at every gift you send,
at blessings without number
and mercies without end:
we lift our hearts before you
and wait upon your word,
we honor and adore you,
our great and mighty Lord.

Then hear, O gracious Savior,
accept the love we bring,
that we who know your favor
may serve you as our king;
and whether our tomorrows
be filled with good or ill,
we'll triumph through our sorrows
and rise to bless you still:
to marvel at your beauty
and glory in your ways,
and make a joyful duty
our sacrifice of praise.




(ETA: We are in no way sorrowful, by the way, even though that part of the hymn has been on my mind. We are great! All of your encouraging comments have meant so much! Here's to next week!!)

Nothing yet.

Thanks for your encouragment, everyone! No news, except the news that my tummy hurts! We are hoping that Gladney continues its referral calls into the DEAD OF NIGHT. :) My phone is charged and ready. And now I have to go pick up some very sweet little girls for a pizza making party.

Love ya'll!

Happy Day.

There is movement in the courts;

Gladney is giving out referrals now,

STARTING TODAY.

We are praising God! So happy for all of us

who've been waiting on referrals,

or stuck in court!

We have been waiting

almost 23 weeks.



Hmmmm.

Baby Thomas.

I know Sarah Bickle from college. We weren't very close, more like friends-of-friends; specifically, we share a close friend, Roxana.

Sarah and her husband Scott are slowly losing their son to cancer. Many of us have read, for two years, Sarah's insightful and articulate documentation of their family's struggle. I urge you to read their story here. And if you are a pray-er, pray for them. They are in the kind of situation where they NEED prayers from complete strangers.....

On Mama's Back.

Sometimes I imagine that our daughter is being carried around on her birthmother's back. I hope so. I love the way African mothers carry their babies. And I love slings in general, especially those beautiful fabric ones.

Really--- you must look at these gorgeous photos of babywearing mamas from all around the world. It's worth your time, I promise.

Thinking of you and other activities.

Tonight I'm thinking of all of the Gladney people out there, waiting with picture in hand. My heart goes out to you.



Watched: Hancock

Booked: my ticket to the Union! Hurray!

Reading: Love in the Ruins by Walker Percy, Morality for Beautiful Girls by Alexander McCall Smith, and soon, Surprised by Hope by N.T. Wright.

Thinking: about you, and about my husband who's out of town.

The short of it.

So, you probably thought we'd have our referral by now, right?
So did we.
Something came up.
Can't discuss it here.
Looks like it'll be okay.
But there are delays.
The rainy season is coming Aug. 8th.
We aren't going to make it thru court.
Travel: maybe Decemberish?
We are fine.
Disappointed, but fine.
Please pray.
Thanks.